Healing

I wish there was a stronger phrase or word than "thank you" that I could use to let you all know how much your support and love has meant to me. I have been overwhelmed this week - wondering how I have been so blessed to have such wonderful, caring women in my life. The calls, cards, gifts, text messages and emails have helped me to go through this grieving process - reminding me that I am not alone.
I have learned so much this past week. There have been so many times that my heart has gone out to a friend in need but I was so concerned about doing the wrong thing that it just paralyzed me and I didn't do anything. I am so sorry if I have not been there for one of you. I've had so many examples this week that sometimes a hug or an "I'm so sorry" is enough. Thank you for teaching me. Thank you for loving me and helping me through this. I appreciate you all and feel blessed to have you in my life.

Today I am Grateful for...

Today I am grateful for
1. A caring doctor who was understanding, loving, provided lots of tissues and reassured me it wasn't my fault
2. My cell phone so I could talk to my husband right away
3. A wonderful husband who answered the phone and is one of the most amazing husbands in the world
4. A side door so the ultrasound technician could get me back to my room without having to go past the waiting room
5. A loving mother who listened to me cry
6. A car parked in a dark parking garage so I could sob openly without worrying I was making anyone else sad
7. A 20+ minute drive home so I could try to gain some composure before I walked in the door
8. An amazing son who came bounding up to me right as I walked in the door - showing me immediately just how truly blessed I am
9. Prayer and the comfort it gives me even though I am sad - I know things will be okay
10. Thoughtful family and friends who support us when we need it
11. The opportunity I will have to try to conceive again
12. This pregnancy - even though I am sad we lost our baby - I am still grateful for the time that I had with this baby.

Lincoln City Family Vacation

My parents are great and brave and decided that our whole family should drive down to Lincoln City and spend an entire week in one house by the beach. I say great because they love us and want to spend time with us and brave because that is a lot of people and personality in one place for a fairly long stretch of time. But we were all up for it and packed our cars to the rim and took off the last week of August.

After an 8 hour drive (which was only supposed to be 6 but we decided to caravan - why?!) we were anxious to get out of our overstuffed cars and settled in at the house. All three cars pull off the main road, onto the drive and as we approach the AMAZING beach house we saw cars in the driveway. Hmmm...wait a second...we were all following each other yet there are cars parked where ours should be... Come to find out my sweet mother made a mistake. We were supposed to check in the following day... So what do a group of tired, cranky travelers do out of shear desperation? We check into a seedy hotel for the night.

The beach house...

Our scary hotel.

The rooms were a little creepy and I didn't want to walk around without my shoes on but it wasn't too bad... It could have been worse. It did have a pool...that was freezing cold. :)

Lydia and I were the only ones brave enough to go all the way in. It looks like we are smiling but it was through clenched chattering teeth. :)
The boys only put their feet in but tried their best to splash us :)

After one night in at the hotel we were ready to check in to the house. If anyone is interested in going to Lincoln City with a group - I would definitely recommend this place!!! It was roomy and gorgeous and had a huge playroom for the kids to go wild (which they did). There was a third floor which was perfect for when the kids went to sleep - we could play games and be as loud as our hearts desired.

No trip to Oregon is complete without a trip to the Tillamook Cheese Factory (especially on a rainy day when you can't go to the beach...)

Terah, Mac and my mom - Mac looks like he's in heaven.
My pretty pretty princess Lydia.

After one day of rain we were so excited to wake up to sunshine and headed straight for the beach. The kids were pumped and the parents were armed with cameras, sand toys and towels. Glad we had those towels because within ten minutes of wading in the waves both Kade and Mac fell in. After making sure they were okay I couldn't resist taking this pic of Kade.
Don't let these tears fool you. He was fine a moment later and enjoyed the rest of the day playing in the sand and water with his cousins. Here are some of my favorite beach pics.

Sarah and Mac
My mom was soooo proud of her sand castle. This is her posing by her masterpiece moments before the kids destroyed it. :)

This is a pic of my parents, sisters and the kiddos at Devil's Punch Bowl outside our favorite clam chowder place. It isn't that great of a picture but it was the only we took with all of us in it.

One afternoon my dad and Logan took the boys to the Air Museum so we could do a little shopping. They had a great time.
A couple minutes drive away was this huge playground. I don't know who was more excited - the kids or the adults. We didn't want to leave.
This is the lake right next to the park.
The weather was gorgeous, the house was amazing and we all survived the week together under one roof without killing each other. It was a fantastic vacation and I can't wait to go again! :)

And the Gold Medal for Worst Morning Ever Goes To...

The Black Household!! If I was ever to start drinking - this would be the morning to put me over the edge. :) Okay - so it wasn't that bad, but it was pretty ugly. Sometimes you have to just throw your hands up and have a good laugh but I haven't been able to do that yet with what happened this morning. :)

Here's what happened...
Around 8:30 I decided to give Kade a bath while I got myself ready in his bathroom for a meeting that was at 9:30. While getting ready my mind started drifting back to the Olympics (I have been TIVOing it like crazy) and noticing that my belly was hanging over my jeans more then usual, I decided that I'd hit the gym after my meeting. I decided to run downstairs quickly and grab my MP3 charger to put in my gym bag. As I ran back up the stairs I heard Kade crying and whining about something. I went into the bathroom and as I got closer I realized that within the minute that it took me to snag my charger - Kade had pooped (A LOT) in the tub and was clearly freaking out.

So I quickly pulled him out and ran to my bathroom to stick in him the tub (telling him it was okay but trying my hardest not to gag as it was all over him) while he proceeds to PEE everywhere. Lovely. I get him all washed off and clothed and happy and then face the dreaded poopy bath tub. yuck. After a couple deep breaths in the hall I went to work. Okay it gets worse. I try to get most of it out and flush it in the toilet next to the tub and just because things weren't bad enough - the toilet gets clogged. Picture me with a plugger now close to swearing as Kade is practically sticking his head in the bowl to see what I am doing and toilet water is splashing all over us. Gross!!

By the time I head down stairs (cleaned up and changed from the nastiness that was my morning) - I am already about 15 minutes late. The toilet isn't unclogged but I need to head out the door. Kade by this point is losing it because he has been ready to go outside since the minute his clothes were on. As he is pulling on my legs and whining I realize that I can't find my keys. So I proceed to dump out every bag and purse I own in a hot pursuit of finding those stupid keys!!! I've gone through them all twice and decide that I need to take a deep breath and say a prayer. After doing so (and hearing Kade say his own - something to do with trains and blessings) I go back to my black purse which I have searched multiple times and yup - they are in the pocket. So I guess the morning ended on a good note. Although I was almost a half an hour late to my meeting and my toilet is STILL clogged...The Joys of Motherhood.

Here are a couple pics of the culpruit that started the whole unfortunate chain of events... Here he looks so cute and innocent (skinny but sweet)...

But this next one is more like the boy I saw this morning... :)

Back to Nature at Last - Ocean Shores or Bust!!

When we were first married, Logan and I went camping a lot. We loved being outside by the fire and snuggling in our sleeping bags in our cozy tent at night...then Kade came into our lives and we stopped our summer camping adventures. What a travesty. Why stop going you ask? I don't know. Maybe because I pictured Kade covered from head to toe in dirt during the day and crying in the tent all night waking up at the butt crack of dawn ready for another round - of dirt... I've gotten over my fears however and resolved to take him camping this summer. But not until Logan and I had our own Adults Only Camping Trip. Sounds so racey doesn't it? Hate to dissapoint but it was pretty tame - although it did involve a lot of wetsuit wearing...

The Camping Crew - Eric, Sarah (my sis), Logan, Me, Eve, and Micah all clean, well rested and ready for our trip. And yes, my younger sister Sarah is taller then me - not fair but I've come to terms with it. Sort of. :)
Gotta love road trips - minus the traffic on the way there... Eric was feeling a little woosy and it looks like I have a pig nose. Sarah looks cute though. :)
Nighttime was fun with a lot of food and chit chat by the fire... Pretty harmless until we started playing the game Would You Rather. I'll spare you the details but I almost peed my pants laughing (more then once)...come to think of it, maybe I should get that checked out...
(just kidding).
The girls in the morning... notice the bags under my eyes? Thanks to our lovely air mattress that decided to crap out and completely deflate, Logan and I slept on the lovely rocks under our tent the first night. Love it.
One thing I like about camping is that the guys usually do all the cooking. Why? Maybe its that they feel more manly over a grill or camp fire. Who knows. Either way I'm a fan.
Now to the real reason for our trip. The wetsuits. We always wear a wetsuit when we camp. I love it - it makes me feel like dancing. Okay - only half of that is true. I do feel like dancing when wearing a wetsuit but our reason for our trip was to surf. As a side note - could there be anything more unflattering then a wetsuit? My guess is no but I'm open to a debate.
Surfing! I love it!! There is a reason my parents would call me their lil fishy - I could live in the water. Logan managed to catch this shot but missed the time the board flew up in the air and smacked my head...that would have been a good one. There is always next time.
Exhausted and hungry after a couple hours trying to catch some waves. I had sand in my eyebrows and swallowed too much sea water but it was worth it. :) P.S. do not enlarge this photo as I am sure it is scary and might cause you to lose some sleep.
A post-camping/surfing pic trying to capture just how nasty and gross we were. I think it does a pretty good job.
Lastlly - this picture is dedicated to my sister. There is no one else in the world who could pull off the socks in flip flops look. You are amazing.

I got tagged!

This is my first tag - hooray! :) This is a toughy...

3 joys
1. My family and friends. Logan and Kade are the two most important boys in my life. They both drive me crazy at times but I love them and would be lost without them. I am very very lucky to have both my side of the family and Logan's all right here in WA. Now we will never be allowed to move away... Kade can grow up with his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins right here - how lucky is he? I didn't have that growing up and think it's so great that he will. I love my amazing sisters - they are each so different and I learn so much from them. Super sappy but we are best friends. My friends are also amazing and help keep me sane. I have some that have been my friends since kindergarten and of course ones who I've met throughout the stages of my life. I am blessed by these friendships and look forward to cultivating new ones!

2. LAUGHING!! I love a good belly, oh my goodness I am going to pee my pants, I just snorted laugh. I love being with people who make me laugh and have found that you must be able to laugh at yourself. Otherwise, life would be really, really boring. :)

3. Nature and being outdoors. I love being outside!! I love seeing the different seasons. I love finding cool new places and exploring them. I wish we had more sunshine here but love when it is out in full form. :)

3 Fears
1. That something will happen to myself or Logan and Kade will be left all alone. I saw something on TV awhile back that has completely haunted me. Short version - something happened to a mother and her toddler was left alone for days until someone found him. I will stop there because just thinking about it gives me anxiety. :)

2. That something terrible will happen to Kade. I don't need to elaborate on that one. :)

3. Clowns. Super creepy and would not have a place in society if it was up to me. :)

3 Current Obsessions
1. Peanut Butter. This has been an ongoing obsession throughout my life. I eat it every day. I think it is fantastic and could go on almost anything. Thank you Grandma Frances for starting this love affair I have with Peanut Butter.

2. Yoga and Swimming. Swimming to me is more then exercise. It has become extremely theraputic and makes me feel as if I could fly. Yoga makes me think about how our bodies really are a gift. Plus it is pretty cool when I can finally do something in class that a couple weeks before I thought - "What the?! You cannot bend that way!!"

3. Like Kedra - the show, So You Think You Can Dance. Being raised with sisters who are all dancers I have a real appreciation for all different styles of dance. Myself, I am a ballet, tap, modern dancer dropout. I knew I was doomed when my toes would cramp up just from trying to point them. The adjective "graceful" will never be used to describe myself. :)

3 Random/Surprising Facts About Myself
1. I came "this close" to marrying someone else...

2. I used to have quite a few body piercings back in the day...

3. Before I became one of the "oldies standing in the back trying desperately to hang onto their youth" I used to go to concerts all the time and go in the pit and crowd surf...ahh...the good old times.

I'm now tagging
1. Shauna
2. Janelle
3. Jenny

Zoo party and a circus? Lucky Kade.

Kade turned 2 on the 28th of June. I can't believe I'm a mom of a two year old... That Saturday was hot hot hot so I was glad we were able to have his zoo birthday party at my parents. We had kiddy pools, sprinklers and a slip n' slide to keep the kids nice and cool. After we dragged them out of the water (they wouldn't get out by their own free will) we went on a hunt to find the zoo animals (stuffed animals hidden in the living room). No animals were harmed during this activity.

Kade and his friends - drinking the pool water was a big hit. Gross.

Happy Birthday Kade! He blew out the candle without spitting on the cake! Way to go buddy.

A couple days later we went to the circus in Monroe. We were a little skeptical and weren't sure what to expect - it looked pretty ghetto. But we all had fun and Kade would not get off the pony ride. He chickened out as we approached the elephant - he was HUGE! Logan was relieved since he was worried about him riding it anyways. I thought it was funny that Logan was more worried then me - doesn't happen that often... :)

Dean, Mary, Darren and Evan - sharing in the circus excitement with us. Although the circus turned out better then expected, I still think clowns are creepy. Especially in Monroe.